Je suis troublée.

I’m not sorry.

I am not sorry when I see fat people.

I am not sorry when they have fat friends.

I am not sorry when they walk in front of me.

Slowly.

I am not sorry when they take up the whole sidewalk.

Or walkway.

Or aisle.

Excuse me.

I would like to walk faster than you.

But I cannot, because not only are you fat,

you’re inconsiderate.

You won’t let me pass because you are a middle-aged white woman with bad hair and ugly fleece vests.

You think you’re more important than I am.

You work at the bank.

I’m not sorry.

I’m angry.

I shouldn’t be subjected to shoveling my sidewalk or the stairs.

Do you know who I am?

I’m a young lady. Young ladies do not shovel sidewalks.

Either you shovel sidewalks or you wear lipstick and high heels.

I wear lipstick and high heels. I do not shovel sidewalks.

I wish Sam Elliott would ride up on his stallion, wearing a kerchief, and just scoop me up and take me somewhere for hot cocoa near a fireplace. And promise me. Promise me when I get back, he’d have someone take care of that shoveling.

Please, Sam Elliott, come get me. I’m waiting.  It’s cold.

It’s true.  I used to work at GAP.

At this time, 1999-2000, jean jackets were the “thing.”

The whole ensemble required black boots, black capris, and the jean jacket.

This “hit” outfit was “awesome” almost 10 years ago.

It’s not awesome anymore.  It wasn’t even that awesome then.

I see it.  Probably 2 times a day.  She’s wearing the outfit, she has frosted highlights in her short hair that is flipped out at the bottom.  Heavy make up, and usually thinks she’s hot.

You’re not hot.

It’s 2007.  Practically 2008.

You probably work at the bank.

I can’t get married without $25,000.

I can take pictures of Ford Probes without $25,000.

I’d like to note that this was one of three Ford Probes found all within a one block vicinity of my church…

We had just taken a picture of a parked Probe when this one flew by me.

Rachel is to Kerith.

I love the ginkgo leaf. It’s my favorite leaf. Much like the coot is Rachel’s favorite bird.

Hand in hand, we stroll

Searching for coots

and ginkgos.

Laughing and running

Running and leaping.

Carefree and happy.

Rachel and Kerith.

Coot and Ginkgo.

I’m going to defend a thesis.  I don’t know when.  But it’s going to happen.  Maybe December 17, 2007, maybe not.

I’m not sure.  I should be working on my thesis right now.  But I’m not.  Because I can’t concentrate.  Why?

I don’t know.  It’s just not working out for me.

Instead, I’m going to show you this nice photo I took earlier this week.

It’s true.  Rob used to be in this photo.  But I cut him out.  It wasn’t his best photo.

And further, he was just being used so I could get a shot of these two dudes fixin’ their Ford Probe.

I hope it starts, bros.  I hope you can get home tonight.

I wear make-up because it makes me prettier.

Rob told me so.

He told me that I look pretty with my eyeshadow on.

I say, “Society makes me wear this eyeshadow to feel pretty for you, and you expect me to wear this eyeshadow in order to be prettier for you.”

I do it. I want Rob to like me, and if the only way I can get him to like me more is by wearing more make-up, then I’ll do it. I’ll do it.

It’s true.  I always pretend I have hot toddies, or that I make them, but I really don’t.  But now I know how because my glorious friend, Kati, has so kindly shared her wisdom and skill of preparing a hot toddy.

What you need to make a hot toddy:

whiskey

lemon (squeeze some juice in and then put the slice in)

cinnamon

cloves (don’t eat them!  don’t chew them up!  don’t do it!)

hot water

It’s that simple, and it’s that good.

Not only did she prepare the hot toddies, but she was also wearing a dress, and made dinner and baked apples and ice cream.

She’s proud to work in the kitchen!  And I’m proud of her!

What a toddy!

Would you even be able to believe this is anywhere but in Michigan?

Weird. And sad.

I walk to work. I never noticed it before. Walking down Van Buren, I was attacked.

One man walked by: long, black leather jacket

Another man exits apartment, enters Toyota Celica: short black bomber jacket

Third man exits nicer apartment, steps into silver Audi: short black, as normal as can be, leather jacket…

Several male students exit dormitories, slowly walk to MSOE: second hand leather jackets

I don’t date men in Milwaukee.