Je suis troublée.

I’m not sorry.

I am not sorry when I see fat people.

I am not sorry when they have fat friends.

I am not sorry when they walk in front of me.

Slowly.

I am not sorry when they take up the whole sidewalk.

Or walkway.

Or aisle.

Excuse me.

I would like to walk faster than you.

But I cannot, because not only are you fat,

you’re inconsiderate.

You won’t let me pass because you are a middle-aged white woman with bad hair and ugly fleece vests.

You think you’re more important than I am.

You work at the bank.

I’m not sorry.

I’m angry.

I shouldn’t be subjected to shoveling my sidewalk or the stairs.

Do you know who I am?

I’m a young lady. Young ladies do not shovel sidewalks.

Either you shovel sidewalks or you wear lipstick and high heels.

I wear lipstick and high heels. I do not shovel sidewalks.

I wish Sam Elliott would ride up on his stallion, wearing a kerchief, and just scoop me up and take me somewhere for hot cocoa near a fireplace. And promise me. Promise me when I get back, he’d have someone take care of that shoveling.

Please, Sam Elliott, come get me. I’m waiting.  It’s cold.

I wear make-up because it makes me prettier.

Rob told me so.

He told me that I look pretty with my eyeshadow on.

I say, “Society makes me wear this eyeshadow to feel pretty for you, and you expect me to wear this eyeshadow in order to be prettier for you.”

I do it. I want Rob to like me, and if the only way I can get him to like me more is by wearing more make-up, then I’ll do it. I’ll do it.

It’s true.  I always pretend I have hot toddies, or that I make them, but I really don’t.  But now I know how because my glorious friend, Kati, has so kindly shared her wisdom and skill of preparing a hot toddy.

What you need to make a hot toddy:

whiskey

lemon (squeeze some juice in and then put the slice in)

cinnamon

cloves (don’t eat them!  don’t chew them up!  don’t do it!)

hot water

It’s that simple, and it’s that good.

Not only did she prepare the hot toddies, but she was also wearing a dress, and made dinner and baked apples and ice cream.

She’s proud to work in the kitchen!  And I’m proud of her!

What a toddy!

I’m not really sure how I set up this blog. I don’t know how to read or write. Rachel does though. She’s got sexy moves.

In recent news, I’ve set up my account with my actual name as the username. I’m really smart.

Furthermore, this template is nice, I think.